: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad: they have laid me here in hideous darkness. Fie, thou dishonest Satan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones that will use the devil himself with courtesy: sayest thou that house is dark? As hell, Sir Topas. Why it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clearstores toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused. I am no more mad than you are: make the trial of it in any constant question. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. What thinkest thou of his opinion? I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Fare thee well. Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras ere I will allow of thy wits, and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Sir Topas, Sir Topas! My most exquisite Sir Topas! Nay, I am for all waters. Thou mightst have done this without thy beard and gown: he sees thee not. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were, for I am now so far in offence with my niece that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. 'Hey, Robin, jolly Robin, Tell me how thy lady does.' Fool! 'My lady is unkind, perdy.' Fool! 'Alas, why is she so?' Fool, I say! 'She loves another'--Who calls, ha? Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink and paper: as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee for't. Master Malvolio? Ay, good fool. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Fool, there was never a man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool