Dromio since at first
I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
How now sir! is your merry humour alter'd?
As you love strokes, so jest with me again.
You know no Centaur? you received no gold?
Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?
Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
I did not see you since you sent me hence,
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.
Villain, thou didst deny the gold's receipt,
And told'st me of a mistress and a dinner;
For which, I hope, thou felt'st I was displeased.
I am glad to see you in this merry vein:
What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me.
Yea, dost thou jeer and flout me in the teeth?
Think'st thou I jest? Hold, take thou that, and that.
Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
Upon what bargain do you give it me?
Because that I familiarly sometimes
Do use you for my fool and chat with you,
Your sauciness will jest upon my love
And make a common of my serious hours.
When the sun shines let foolish gnats make sport,
But creep in crannies when he hides his beams.
If you will jest with me, know my aspect,
And fashion your demeanor to my looks,
Or I will beat this method in your sconce.
Sconce call you it? so you would leave battering, I
had rather have it a head: an you use these blows
long, I must get a sconce for my head and ensconce
it too; or else I shall seek my wit in my shoulders.
But, I pray, sir why am I beaten?
Dost thou not know?
Nothing, sir, but that I am beaten.
Shall I tell you why?
Ay, sir, and wherefore; for they say every why hath
a wherefore.
Why, first,--for flouting me; and then, wherefore--
For urging it the second time to me.
Was there ever any man thus beaten out of season,
When in the why and the wherefore is neither rhyme
nor reason?
Well, sir, I thank you.
Thank me, sir, for what?
Marry, sir, for this something that you gave me for nothing.
I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for
something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?
No, sir; I think the meat wants that I have.
In good