, and so is an
ass.
I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long
ears. I have served him from the hour of my
nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his
hands for my service but blows. When I am cold, he
heats me with beating; when I am warm, he cools me
with beating; I am waked with it when I sleep;
raised with it when I sit; driven out of doors with
it when I go from home; welcomed home with it when
I return; nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a
beggar wont her brat; and, I think when he hath
lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door.
Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder.
Mistress, 'respice finem,' respect your end; or
rather, the prophecy like the parrot, 'beware the
rope's-end.'
Wilt thou still talk?
How say you now? is not your husband mad?
His incivility confirms no less.
Good Doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer;
Establish him in his true sense again,
And I will please you what you will demand.
Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks!
Mark how he trembles in his ecstasy!
Give me your hand and let me feel your pulse.
There is my hand, and let it feel your ear.
I charge thee, Satan, housed within this man,
To yield possession to my holy prayers
And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight:
I conjure thee by all the saints in heaven!
Peace, doting wizard, peace! I am not mad.
O, that thou wert not, poor distressed soul!
You minion, you, are these your customers?
Did this companion with the saffron face
Revel and feast it at my house to-day,
Whilst upon me the guilty doors were shut
And I denied to enter in my house?
O husband, God doth know you dined at home;
Where would you had remain'd until this time,
Free from these slanders and this open shame!
Dined at home! Thou villain, what sayest thou?
Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home.
Were not my doors lock'd up and I shut out?
Perdie, your doors were lock'd and you shut out.
And did not she herself revile me there?
Sans fable, she herself reviled you there.
Did not her kitchen-maid rail, taunt, and scorn me?
Certes, she did; the kitchen-vestal scorn'd you.
And did not I in rage depart from thence?
In verity you did; my bones bear witness,
That since have felt the vigour of his rage.