. What a woman are you!--Away with him, away
with him! better shame than murder.
Which way should be go? how should I bestow him?
Shall I put him into the basket again?
No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go
out ere he come?
Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door
with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise
you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here?
What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney.
There they always use to discharge their
birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole.
Where is it?
He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an
abstract for the remembrance of such places, and
goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house.
I'll go out then.
If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir
John. Unless you go out disguised--
How might we disguise him?
Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown
big enough for him otherwise he might put on a hat,
a muffler and a kerchief, and so escape.
Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather
than a mischief.
My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a
gown above.
On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he
is: and there's her thrummed hat and her muffler
too. Run up, Sir John.
Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will
look some linen for your head.
Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: put
on the gown the while.
I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he
cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears
she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath
threatened to beat her.
Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the
devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
But is my husband coming?
Ah, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket
too, howsoever he hath had intelligence.
We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the
basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as
they did last time.
Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him
like the witch of Brentford.
I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the
basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.
Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.
We'll leave a proof, by