the house
trimmed, rushes strewed, cobwebs swept; the
serving-men in their new fustian, their white
stockings, and every officer his wedding-garment on?
Be the jacks fair within, the jills fair without,
the carpets laid, and every thing in order?
All ready; and therefore, I pray thee, news.
First, know, my horse is tired; my master and
mistress fallen out.
How?
Out of their saddles into the dirt; and thereby
hangs a tale.
Let's ha't, good Grumio.
Lend thine ear.
Here.
There.
This is to feel a tale, not to hear a tale.
And therefore 'tis called a sensible tale: and this
cuff was but to knock at your ear, and beseech
listening. Now I begin: Imprimis, we came down a
foul hill, my master riding behind my mistress,--
Both of one horse?
What's that to thee?
Why, a horse.
Tell thou the tale: but hadst thou not crossed me,
thou shouldst have heard how her horse fell and she
under her horse; thou shouldst have heard in how
miry a place, how she was bemoiled, how he left her
with the horse upon her, how he beat me because
her horse stumbled, how she waded through the dirt
to pluck him off me, how he swore, how she prayed,
that never prayed before, how I cried, how the
horses ran away, how her bridle was burst, how I
lost my crupper, with many things of worthy memory,
which now shall die in oblivion and thou return
unexperienced to thy grave.
By this reckoning he is more shrew than she.
Ay; and that thou and the proudest of you all shall
find when he comes home. But what talk I of this?
Call forth Nathaniel, Joseph, Nicholas, Philip,
Walter, Sugarsop and the rest: let their heads be
sleekly combed their blue coats brushed and their
garters of an indifferent knit: let them curtsy
with their left legs and not presume to touch a hair
of my master's horse-tail till they kiss their
hands. Are they all ready?
They are.
Call them forth.
Do you hear, ho? you must meet my master to
countenance my mistress.
Why, she hath a face of her own.
Who knows not that?
Thou, it seems, that calls for company to
countenance her.
I call them forth to credit her.
Why, she comes to borrow nothing of them.
Welcome home, Grumio!
How now, Grumio!
What, Grumio!
Fellow Grumio!
How now, old lad?
Welcome, you;--how now, you;-- what, you;--fellow,
you;--and thus much